WONDERFLONIUM: Do Not Bounce

12:20pm: Youtube Roundup
I know I keep linking to these chicks, but I can't help it: they amuse the crap out of me.

Who said it? Kanye or Hitler?

"It's not that easy of a game!"

More Youtube stuff:
A quad wolf 'suiter (one of Beastcub's suits) ends up playing with a dog. Speaking of which, how freaking awesome is this unicorn suit?

Jumping Spider vs. Mouse Pointer. I've played this game with zebra jumpers that have wandered onto my computer screen. Jumpers will chase laser pointers, too. They're so adorable.

THIS SPIDER CHASES PEOPLE. AAAAAGH!

Important safety video for Hallowe'en: Zombies In Plain English. "A flaming zombie can be even more dangerous than a regular one."

Speaking of safety, FORKLIFTS. Warning, hilariously gruesome. The last shot involves a forklift with a headless operator riding off into the sunset with hapless bystanders speared on each fork.

9:12am: The Call of the Moors
There are plenty of people out there that put "wet dog" on the list of "generally awful smells of the everyday world", but I've always kind of enjoyed that smell. Maybe because the dogs I've been around are, when wet, also clean wet dogs.

I bring the subject up because the fluffy colliewog at my feet was treated to a bath yesterday, the very instant I got home from work. There is, of course, a reason: on Tuesday, we borrowed eclipsegryph's Honda (the Goose) and drove to Occidental to visit summer_jackel and her collection of collie-like things. Which was the perfect remedy to a not-so-great morning, it turned out.

( My photos are not as good as Jackel's, but they are NUMEROUS. )

11:22pm: COLLIEPALOOZA

2:01pm: Whoosh!


(I actually drew this in 2004, but I still feel the same way about rain.)

5:41pm: "Well, there's spam-egg-sausage-and-spam, that's not got much spam in it."
Dear Deer [video]
Kimono's Townhouse [webcomic sorta thing, only with My Little Ponies, adorable homemade sets, and nerd humor]
If Twilight Was Ten Times Shorter and a Hundred Times More Honest
This Party Just Took a Turn For the Douche [video]
Regretsy
Awful Library Books
Gives Me Hope

5:18pm: Son of a beach!


( Collie + frisbee = )

12:06pm: In Honor of National Coming Out Day:
...I still don't see how my sexual orientation, assuming I have one, is anyone's concern but my own, and possibly, my prospective partner(s). Sorry.

11:54am: I keep getting spiders in the mail!
( Comparatively speaking, there was a little bitty spider on my mailbox this afternoon! )

EDIT: Definitely an argiope of some sort. See the legs? The eye pattern was pretty orb-weaverish, too, although I can't get a decent photo with the Olympus. Subadult A. trifasciata seems most likely, a spider dear to my heart -- see the userpic? Full version here.

Yep, it's a real one this time, so don't go looking under the cut if spiders make your skin crawl. And definitely don't go looking at the site I tripped over while trying to identify my little silvery friend: Unnecessary Carnage, brought to you by What's That Bug. Years ago, I stopped counting the number of times I've been called over by a co-worker or family member to examine a pile of chitin and goo: "I found this enormous bug! What is it? Is it poisonous? Are there more of them?"

To which the only possible reply is usually "If you don't know what it is, why the fuck did you smash it? AAAAAGH!"

At this point, I have selasphorus and eclipsegryph trained out of "squash first, ask questions later", but it's probably a good thing that I found the mailbox beauty first. The USPS guy has a squisher's eye.

11:50am: Bliss Like Aardvark
This weekend was the first weekend I haven't had to work for quite a while, and was characterized in approximately equal parts by drama, angst, woe, and AWESOME. Since a) this isn't that kind of journal, and b) I'm not in that kind of mood, I'll focus on the highlights:

( MY COLLIE IS SHRINKING! Is one possible theory. )

Additionally, on Saturday, eclipsegryph and I went to Davis for nomful Chinese foods with gracious hosts tenaya_owlcat and seabhacson. Tenaya gave me her spare copies of Jaqueline Carey's two most recent, which I enjoyed thoroughly, although the Kushiel's Whatever series slide a little further into the "guilty pleasure" section of my library with each installment. :>

* Foreleg growth plates, for those unfamiliar with that particular Kyn-ism.

8:30am: Livejournal = fridge door.
The Nintendo DS has a goofy little animation program, AND the ability to connect to the Internet, so I made a bunch of these last night. Of course, I realize that a number of people who read this journal are professional animators and/or in animation school, whereas my animation experience is mostly of the "defacing paperback margins" variety.

It's still fun, though!

( Butterfly Milkshake. )

( Spider's Teddy Bear. )

2:42pm: It Came from the Bargain Bin IV: Attack of the Fifty-Foot Bargain Bin
First of all: I TOLD YOU IT WAS A COMEDY. So nyeah. Plus, it's that time again.

Long ago, in a galaxy far, far away...

*** = I'd watch it again.
** = Pleasantly surprising.
* = So bad, it's good.
- = So bad, it's AWFUL.
-- = Unpleasantly surprising.
--- = KILL IT WITH FIRE.

( The Lost Treasure of the Grand Canyon (2008) [-] )

( Mutant Chronicles (2009) [*/-] )

( Black Sheep (2007) [***] )

4:22pm: THIS JUST IN: LJ = Twitter.
I liked District 9 a lot. More later? I dunno. UNRELATED: I have three pounds of discount squid sitting in my freezer.

11:31am: WHARRGARBL.
( WHARRGARBL )

Kalu makes fabulous faces.

12:07pm: Writer's Block: Fantasy Sports


In the alternate reality of Twilight, I would have to assume that all professional baseball players are vampires already, since "being really good at baseball" is apparently all Stephenie Meyer's weak, watery version of vampirism is good for.

Oh, and the Kevin Costner movie was called Field of Glitter.

( My userpic IS SO on-topic! Nyeah! )

7:32pm: Continuing the theme of "bald-headed birds are adorable":
Bald-headed species of songbird discovered in Laos.

"Bald bulbul" is hard to say.

1:53pm: "The secret ingredient is otter!"
Incidentally, on Saturday, we went to the San Francisco Zoo, and took many pictures. selasphorus has posted all the good ones already (she doesn't let the new camera out of her sight), but I have . . . more! From slightly different angles!

Presented linkety-style for your convenience, because there's a crapton.

1. I didn't know the SF zoo had one of these in their collection, but it's true: they really do have a whangdoodle. Really. Right there behind that weird plant thing.
2. It's hard to tell what's going on here, but I can assure you that this young giraffe and ostrich making faces at each other across the fence was hilarious indeed.
3. The "African Savannah" exhibit, with visible species labeled.
4. Hey eclipsegryph, check out those babes.
5. Adorable Waldrapp ibis. I think all nekkid-headed birds are cute, apparently.
6. A species not on exhibit at the Primate House.
7. I like flamingos, but the smell downwind of their briny splash area was a bit eye-watering.
8. The art of stealth.
9. . . . words fail me. Just click.
10. The world's ugliest (and tallest) prairie dog.
11. Adorable meerkats with adorable little penises.
12. Toulouse the turkey vulture is holy crap really thirty-seven years old. He sits calmly on his perch and preens. Which is what he's doing in the picture, even if it may look as though he's shielding his eyes from Eclipse's shirt.
13. Morty is three, and disdains the platform.
14. Tyr the Swainson's hawk is tiny and pointy.
15. This is a merganser. They're known for, uh, mergansing.
16. Coatimundis! Tremble before the power of snooze.
17. Tiger salamander leers at you from the undergrowth.
18. Ruddy duck is feeling blue.
19. Totally awesome bird-eating spider.
20. Hey iatro there's a whip scorpion!
21. Great Hornbill of
22. I love ground hornbills. Really a lot. I even have a stuffed one that I cuddle with at night, and that took some finding, let me tell you. Unfortunately, I can't enjoy their stately-yet-hilarious antics at the zoo without having to elbow past the "wow, what an ugly bird! C'mere and look at this ugly bird! What're those, tumors? Duuuuude!" Ingrates. Incidentally, he's coming to kill you for trying to seduce his woman. LOL.
23. Penguin barbershop quartet practices their breakaway hit titled "YONK YONK YONK YONK!"
24. Odd-toed ungulates deserve love, too. Have a sexually-frustrated rhino and a sexually-frustrated Baird's tapir. (Ah, spring, the time of year when a rhino's fancy turns to love and WHY ARE THE WOMEN ON THE OTHER SIDE OF A GODDAMNED FENCE? RAAAAGH! TAKE THAT, BOULDER! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!)

So that was fun. But I still like the Oakland zoo better.

5:20pm: Linkety.
Really interesting felt sculpture. Teddy bear natural history, commentary on overdomestication, all interesting shit. I like her figure studies best, though. Evocative.

As with all the neat sculpture I find on the Internet, this came up in a Google image search for something else.

Like: a mechanical cheetah. Scroll down to watch it run, and to see similar pieces.

And: some really fantastic leatherwork, including a dragon backpack, a Cthulhu mask, and some wicked paw shoes and gloves

11:08am: Additionally, bird.
I let Ninja out as soon as I got home from work this morning, and instead his usual routine of partying on top of his cage, he took it into his little blue head to FLY FLY FLY OMG FLY around the house for a bit. Unfortunately, I didn't get any in-flight shots, but this is almost worth it. After the better part of a year with full wing feathers, he's still not an expert aviator. He can cirle, turn, accelerate, decelerate, ascend, and descend competently, but he only has one landing style, and it rhymes with "gnash". At least he usually manages to aim himself for something soft. Curtains are a favorite, but while I was cleaning his cage today*, he managed to stick a landing on top of the curtain rail.



( Find the birdie! )

Following the Innocent Face up there, Ninja decided to check out upstairs, and got a little too interested in the cat5 cable that leads to the XBox 360. BACK IN YOUR CAGE, DEMON.

Additionally, the hot weather is taking its toll on the mammal pets. Specifically, it causes them to make ( DURRRRRRRR faces. )

* Flighted parrots, even accident-prone ones, get into less trouble than you'd think. Nevertheless, Ninja's closely supervised when he's flying.

3:14pm: Good Idea / Bad Idea
Strangely, I've spent a notable portion of the past two days at the theater.

Exhibit A: J.J. Abrams's Star Trek.
Exhibit B: Michael Bay's Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Seeing these movies back to back sort of invites comparison, and considering how, uh, different they are, the format that springs immediately to mind is Good Idea, Bad Idea from "Animaniacs".

( The effects-driven sci-fi franchise-revitalisation summer blockbuster edition! )

I think the real lesson here is never start a "yo' momma" fight with a half-Vulcan.

* Fine, I can't blame Michael Bay for that one. I still hate it, though.

2:05pm: And on the day the words 'flimsy excuse' were redefined, we stood in awe and watched.
I am so tired. I think I can rule out the possibility of taking a midday nap for the forseeable future, though.

( You guys, there is a Nanday conure in my bathroom. What do I do? )

RANDOM CONVERSATION OF RANDOM:

"Kyn, I'm in the mood for a movie, and I need you to pick one out."
"Okay," I replied, with enthusiasm: I'm good at picking out movies. "What kind?"
"Something surprising," eclipsegryph said. "Not suprising in itself, like 'wow, I thought this movie would suck, but it's actually really good*', but which contains a surprise with the plot or characters. Not random, though, nothing really surreal."
"You want a movie with a plot twist?"
"Maaaaybe," he allowed, "but it has to be good. Not 'the butler did it' or 'and then it turns out they were twins' or 'he was dead all along'" -- I quietly wrote down No M. Night Shyamalan -- "but something you don't see coming. Except that it was there the whole time. You know what I mean?"
"Okay, so I've got: surprising but not in a surreal way, twisty but not in an ass-pull way, totally unexpected but also brilliantly set up, and good." I wrote all this down dutifully. "Give me a bit. I'll find something."

A little while later: "Eclipse, was it you or selasphorus who said they had never seen Donnie Darko?"
"It was selasphorus."
"Dammit!"

And later: "Have you seen Brazil?"
"I think so. Was that the one with John Goodman?"
I added Has not seen Brazil to my notes and shifted it to the "Possible" column, even although it was probably a violation of the no surrealism clause. Then a thought struck me, like a fumbled Wii remote inevitably strikes the television screen: "What about The Usual Suspects?" I asked, handing him my VHS copy to scrutinize.
"I think I've heard of this," he said. "It turns out Kevin Spacey is Kaiser Sose, doesn't it?"
"But have you seen it?" I repeated.
"Well, no... but it won't surprise me if I already know how it ends, right?"
I suppressed a laugh that would probably have come out, if not Evil, certainly well beyond Chaotic Neutral. "Believe me, you'll still never see it coming," and I popped the tape into the player.

It's a terrible burden, being right all the time.




* You gotta be specific. Between the two of us, we've seen a lot of movies like this.

7:20am: Incidentally:
On my last ICFTBB entry, it occurred to me that there's another way I could post these mini-reviews. Since they're so short, I write them and then sit on them, to post in lots. However, I could just as easily post one at a time.

Advantages of posting one at a time: more entries more often, obviously. Disadvantages: most of these entries are likely to be really short. QUICKLY, TO THE POLLS.

Poll #1417062 It Came From the Bargain Bin: Post Format
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 19

Should I post ICFTBB reviews in batches, or one at a time?

Upcoming titles that I have watched but not yet posted reviews for: MEGA SHARK VS. GIANT OCTOPUS, FLU BIRDS, MERLIN AND THE WAR WITH THE DRAGONS, WAR BIRDS, LET THE RIGHT ONE IN, RISE: BLOOD HUNTER.

5:57pm: It Came from the Bargain Bin III: Son of the Bargain Bin
Mostly I'm posting to justify my spending a significant portion of the past two days making one of those customized mood themes you all have. Drawing teeny condors in Paint is more fun than you'd think. Oh, and one eagle: for predatory, I had to ask lanakila to stand in, because Condors Don't Do That Sort of Thing.

BAD MOVIES AHOY!

Previously, on It Came from the Bargain Bin.

Look, I told you I was behind on these. And they're fun to write when I'm feeling snarky, so, without further ado, the Dragon Extravaganza edition of ICFTBB: if there's a shit movie with a dragon on the box, I've probably seen it.

*** = I'd watch it again.
** = Pleasantly surprising.
* = So bad, it's good.
- = So bad, it's AWFUL.
-- = Unpleasantly surprising.
--- = KILL IT WITH FIRE.

( Fire Serpent (2007) [---] )

( Dungeons & Dragons (2000) [-] AND Dungeons & Dragons 2: Wrath of the Dragon God (2005) [**] )

( Netherbeast Inc. (2007) [***]. )

* Great parenting, there, Mom. By the way.
** For fun, the Slither version of this exchange:
Jack McCready:"Where is the Mr. Pibb? I told your secretary to pack Mr. Pibb. It's the only Coke I like. Goddamn Brenda exploding like a water balloon, worms driving my friends around like they're goddamn skin-cars, people are spitting acid at me, turning you into cottage cheese, and now there's no fucking goddamn Mr. Pibb?"
Bill Pardy: "Jesus Christ, Jack, let me get right on it!"
Black Sheep version:
Experience: "What is wrong with you?"
Henry: "Ovinophobia, my therapist calls it."
Experience: "What's that mean?"
Henry: "It's the completely unfounded and irrational fear that one day exactly this is going to happen!"†

† I told you I love this genre.‡

‡ Incidentally, reading Terry Pratchett in excess of the daily recommended dose (see your physician for details) may cause dry mouth, watery eyes, and a tendency to footnote your footnotes.

5:17pm: You fool! You don't know the power of Styrofoam!
Yesterday, my house was invaded by knee-high sheepdogs.

( The exterminator still hasn't called me back. )

In summary, shelties are awesome. And Jackels are pretty awesome, too, even if their taste in movies leans occasionally toward the atrocious. (Not that I'm complaining.)

6:58pm: DOGGLE UPDATE: Feeling Much Better, Thanks, So Please Stop Harassing Me With The Camera


On Sunday, he couldn't even pick up that ball. Getting to play a quick game of catch with him in the backyard today makes me tremendously happy.

9:00pm: So cute, the birds wear beards.
Sometimes I really wonder what a bird's sense of taste is actually like. I was out of juice to use as conure bribes, so I gave Firefly a little tiny bit of lemonade. He touched it with his tongue and flipped his wings so hard in surprise that he almost went over backwards - before going straight in for more.

Also, his favorite word this week is "Weird."