First of all: I TOLD YOU IT WAS A COMEDY. So nyeah. Plus, it's that time again.

Long ago, in a galaxy far, far away...

*** = I'd watch it again.
** = Pleasantly surprising.
* = So bad, it's good.
- = So bad, it's AWFUL.
-- = Unpleasantly surprising.
--- = KILL IT WITH FIRE.

( The Lost Treasure of the Grand Canyon (2008) [-] )

( Mutant Chronicles (2009) [*/-] )

( Black Sheep (2007) [***] )

Mostly I'm posting to justify my spending a significant portion of the past two days making one of those customized mood themes you all have. Drawing teeny condors in Paint is more fun than you'd think. Oh, and one eagle: for predatory, I had to ask lanakila to stand in, because Condors Don't Do That Sort of Thing.

BAD MOVIES AHOY!

Previously, on It Came from the Bargain Bin.

Look, I told you I was behind on these. And they're fun to write when I'm feeling snarky, so, without further ado, the Dragon Extravaganza edition of ICFTBB: if there's a shit movie with a dragon on the box, I've probably seen it.

*** = I'd watch it again.
** = Pleasantly surprising.
* = So bad, it's good.
- = So bad, it's AWFUL.
-- = Unpleasantly surprising.
--- = KILL IT WITH FIRE.

( Fire Serpent (2007) [---] )

( Dungeons & Dragons (2000) [-] AND Dungeons & Dragons 2: Wrath of the Dragon God (2005) [**] )

( Netherbeast Inc. (2007) [***]. )

* Great parenting, there, Mom. By the way.
** For fun, the Slither version of this exchange:
Jack McCready:"Where is the Mr. Pibb? I told your secretary to pack Mr. Pibb. It's the only Coke I like. Goddamn Brenda exploding like a water balloon, worms driving my friends around like they're goddamn skin-cars, people are spitting acid at me, turning you into cottage cheese, and now there's no fucking goddamn Mr. Pibb?"
Bill Pardy: "Jesus Christ, Jack, let me get right on it!"
Black Sheep version:
Experience: "What is wrong with you?"
Henry: "Ovinophobia, my therapist calls it."
Experience: "What's that mean?"
Henry: "It's the completely unfounded and irrational fear that one day exactly this is going to happen!"†

† I told you I love this genre.‡

‡ Incidentally, reading Terry Pratchett in excess of the daily recommended dose (see your physician for details) may cause dry mouth, watery eyes, and a tendency to footnote your footnotes.

The Story So Far.

Quite a lineup today. I need to remember to do this more frequently, since the worst thing about terrible movies is how dreadfully easy they are to forget. It's like a self-defense mechanism. I'm trying not to think about having to watch Dungeons & Dragons AGAIN so I can write it up properly.

Anyway, here you are: more movies I only watched to save everyone else the trouble.

*** = I'd watch it again.
** = Pleasantly surprising.
* = So bad, it's good.
- = So bad, it's AWFUL.
-- = Unpleasantly surprising.
--- = KILL IT WITH FIRE.

( Sharks in Venice (2008) [-] )


( Dragonquest (2009) [--] )


( Zombie Nation (2004) [---(-)] )


( Men With Brooms (2002) [***] )

Prince Nuada vs. Legolas, one-on-one, to the death, weapons to be decided. Who wins?

Elf fight! Elf fight! Elf fight! My money's on Nuada, personally. Granted, Legolas has That Thing With The Oliphaunt under his belt, but I submit that a) he was just lucky, and b) it still only counts as one. Anyway, buckle your sweaters, because it's time for the first-ever episode of IT CAME FROM THE BARGAIN BIN!: reviews of movies that no one in their right mind would ever, ever actually watch, but might take a discreet cell-phone photo of the box art to prove to skeptical friends that yes, a movie called "Flu Birds" really does exist. (It does. I've seen it!)

*** = I'd watch it again.
** = Pleasantly surprising.
* = So bad, it's good.
- = So bad, it's AWFUL.
-- = Unpleasantly surprising.
--- = KILL IT WITH FIRE.

( White Noise 2 (2007) [**] )

( Run Fatboy Run (2007) [***] )

( Cerberus (2005) [-] )

( Zombie Strippers! (2008) [***] )

( 18 Fingers of Death (2006) [---] )

Thanks for reading! Tune in next time for FLU BIRDS, DUNGEONS & DRAGONS, and DUNGEONS & DRAGONS 2: WRATH OF THE DRAGON GOD. And whatever else I manage to watch between now and then.